There’s nothing wrong with having an Emotion
Hands up if you’re an emotional person – Cue the hands up emoji for me. I feel everything and best off I have to let it all out and talk about it. There was a time where I used to think there was something wrong with me, especially when my BF used to say ‘you’re always going through something’ I remember thinking yeh I am, I have an emotion towards everything and at times I would feel like it was wrong to have a particular emotion, for fear of being told I was negative and so I would try to keep it in. However pretending not feel is something I just can’t do, I need to express what’s going on for me so I can work through it and let it go. Suppressing your emotions my lovelies will send you crazy! Our emotions need to come out and be worked through to help us understand ourselves and to allow us to grow. Holding them in or burying feelings we don’t want to deal with causes us to feel anxious and unsettled. Our emotions are there to tell us we are alive, HALLELUJAH. They are a sign that something is going on for us, that we’re human and have needs. More than anything they are there to help us communicate with others around us, so we can create relationships and connections. Imagine all walking around emotionless; jeez how boring would it be to have friends or lovers that we couldn’t connect with. Relationships wouldn’t happen and life would have no contrast.
Negative Vs Positive Emotions
So you see we need emotions, ALL OF THEM, the ones we enjoy and the ones that aren’t as comfortable. There is no such thing as a negative or positive emotion, what we feel is what we feel and we humans all have the ability to feel the SAME emotions, so it’s not wrong to feel sad, angry, frustrated, fed up, you name the others you’ve associated as being ‘negative’, its all part of understanding and expressing ourselves. We’re all here having our own crazy experience of life, which means feeling all the various emotions that are built within us. But what we have done is gone and labeled our emotions as either good or bad/ negative or positive. In doing this we have set ourselves up for self-judgment and disappointment. We aren’t always going to feel on top of the world just like life isn’t always an easy ride. With life comes wonderful high times but there are also some more challenging low times and it’s the same with our emotions. There are times when you will feel shitty, sad, angry and if your get PMT like me, then once a month you will feel like the whole world is against you (yep I’m convinced each cycle)
Let Go & Stop Self-Judgement
What we need to do is stop judging ourselves for what we feel and let go of that voice inside our head that keeps saying what we should be feeling. Instead we need to accept whatever it is we are going through and invest our energy in trying to understand what we need during this time. Should is a word I dislike, let yourself be what you are, find self compassion and self acceptance, instead of criticising and putting yourself down for experiencing one of the various emotions life has given you. Yes I believe in the power of positivity and our mindset is huge when it comes to how we feel and how we behave but it’s up to us to chose how we view our emotions and if we keep giving ourselves a hard time just because we’re not positive Polly every day, then we will stay in a vicious cycle of self-loathing and let me tell you, when you’re down in that place positivity doesn’t exist at all
Choose Your Response
So chose how you are going to respond to what you’re feeling. It’s the response that can make your emotions turn either negative or positive. Here’s a little example for you….lets say you’re angry because a person has jumped the cue in front of you whilst you’re waiting in line for a coffee and you respond by knocking them out, or if your laptop is frustrating you and you chose to launch it through your window. Now you can see how these dramatic examples would not go down as positive behaviour right?. Doing this would not only make you look crazy but people would say you were wrong for being so angry or frustrated. They are an unhealthy ways of expressing your emotion. Being angry is ok, but you need understand where the anger has come from so you can work through it and express it in a controlled way. Letting your emotions control you are when bad decisions are made.
So here are my 3 little nuggets of wisdom to help you deal with your emotions….
1) First of all find ACCEPTANCE. Notice when you are going through difficult or uncomfortable emotions and accept them. Tell yourself it’s ok and that you’re only human and everyone has times where they experience this (name emotion) Once you accept instead of resist you can begin to look forward and choose how to process what you’re going through
2) Find some time to be with yourself and LOOK WITHIN. This emotion is showing up for a reason, it’s trying to tell you something and more often that not there are different emotions layered beneath the one you are having. Creating some space for yourself, whether it’s through meditating, listening to chilled music or just being in silence to be with your thoughts, will help you process what is going on for you.
3) Ask yourself what you need. Once you have processed your emotion find SELF COMPASSION. What will help you let go of these emotions, what do you need to feel better? Knowing what you need will help you release your emotions in a healthy controlled way.