Hi Lovely I’m Keeley,

I’m a certified Relationship Coach and I am all about empowering women to know their worth and find their inner strength to transform or leave their unhappy relationship.

My biggest WHY for supporting women in unhappy relationships, is because I believe that no women should ever feel like she is not ENOUGH. I have felt like this at various times in my life and I know it’s something many women feel at some point too. The relationship you have with yourself can have a huge affect on your relationship with others, so I want to inspire all women to know their worth and value themselves so they can have the happy, healthy relationships they deserve.

I had to learn that it all starts within…

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Here’s my Story!

I grew up in a pretty racist area as a child, which didn’t go down well for me considering I am mixed race. I was picked on from a young age because of my race and although I didn’t realise at the time

this really damaged my sense of self worth and my confidence. I felt like a total outsider amongst the people I was friends with and spent most of my childhood hating who I was and what I looked like. I wished so much to be like all the other girls because I thought they were pretty and likeable and felt totally inadequate to them. I believed I was inferior because of the things I was called and because none of the boys would go out with me. Although it was painful I was still so desperate to fit in, which I have also tried to do in many other scenarios throughout my life. When I finally had my first boyfriend at 16 it was a total secret because of my race, but I remember feeling grateful that finally someone was going out with me. Eeeek I cringe every time I re-tell that part, as I don’t believe anyone should ever feel grateful in that way

There is something positive to take from every hardship

I was lucky enough to get out of that situation after discovering my passion to dance. I moved school and left the bullies behind determined to show them that I was worthy of something and entered into a completely new life, which was terrifying at first because I felt so alone. This change was ultimately one of the best decisions I have ever made and it taught me one of my biggest beliefs – to let go of anyone who doesn’t make you feel good, no matter how scary it may feel. I later learned this lesson again in my relationship.

I ploughed every bit of me into becoming a dancer and trained hard for over 10 years before finally graduating and making it as a professional. It will always be one of my biggest achievements. I went from feeling like the worthless inferior school kid, to having achieved my wildest dreams. However there were few obstacles along the way where the damage to my self worth often bought up feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. This was heightened during the breakdown of my first relationship because I had to deal with a huge rejection when my I found out my partner was in fact in another relationship 3 weeks into giving it another go. I was shattered, after 6 years together I couldn’t believe that he would chose ‘her’ over me. This rejection left me questioning many things about myself and I didn’t think I would ever find anyone who would love me ever again.

Achieving my wildest dreams

But then I met my current boyfriend and at first it was all fun and exciting. But it soon became apparent that we had very different views and values. He would often put me down and tell me all the things I wasn’t and what I needed to be to prove I was a good girlfriend. I was still scarred by the bullies and my previous breakup and carried a lot of guilt, so I listened. I lost myself trying to please him and became the kind of women he thought I should be. If I tried to argue back with my point it just escalated in to huge arguments, which would often lead to us breaking up only to get back together and week later. We both became so unhappy but we couldn’t let go of each other because we wanted so desperately for it to work because we loved each other. But deep down I had no hope because we were just so different and I felt like crap when I was with him. However I couldn’t break the pattern to get myself out of this unhappy relationships and also feared never again finding someone too love me.

 

But then I had a wake up call and realised that I was more unhappy than I was happy. I hated who I had become as I had watched my family have unhealthy relationships and vowed never to be someone who stayed in something because she feared being alone. A relationship is about wanting not needing, so I new I needed to build my strength and get my self-confidence back to let go of this unhappy relationship.

Along my journey I realised that there was a lot at play for me. I learned to love myself again and began to feel worthy. I stopped listening to the comments my partner made and instead stood in my truth without the need to know if I was loved because I loved and believed in myself. I believed I was worthy of having a happy healthy relationship and got to the point where I felt confident enough with who I was even if my partner didn’t like me. Being able to stand up and say take me or leave me as I am is so liberating.

But the irony was that as I stood there owning and accepting who I was, so did my partner…

 I had spent so much time begging and trying to change my partner but he only changed when he realized I was no longer prepared to stand for the relationship we were in and that actually I was ready and wiling to walk away. He got the help he needed and our relationship took a 360 turn.

For the past 2 years we have had the most amazing healthy and loving relationship, which I feel so grateful for because I honestly never thought it was possible. I have been able to release some of the unhealthy behaviors that were at play for me and create changes within myself that were my choice, not because I was told or made to feel like there was something wrong with me. I have finally healed the wounds of my childhood, making peace with the fact that not everyone will love you and that’s ok, because as long as you love yourself you will always know your worth even when others don’t.

When you value and love yourself you have so much power because you are not afraid to let go of anyone who is giving you less than you deserve. You realize that you have a choice to be with someone out of love rather than fear and that you can be with someone who makes you feel like the incredible worthy woman you are.

Empowering women to know their worth and find the strength to transform or leave their unhappy relationship is now my purpose in life!

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